Wiretap initiated July 3, 2010 4:16pm, Chicago, Ill.
Homeland Logistics, Inc., Wiretap Division

-Subject 1: Claire J. Samson, D.O.B. November 16, 1976 11:04 AM Ceres, CA
–Subject Current Location: Las Cruces, NM
—Subject Phone Number: 1-505-XXX-XXXX

-Subject 2: Theresa B. Porter, D.O.B. January 13, 1981 07:12 PM Rapid City, SD
-Subject 3: Lance X. Porter, D.O.B. April 30, 1975 02:22 PM Aberdeenshire, Scotland
–Subject Current Location: Twentynine Palms, CA
—Subject Phone Number: 1-760-XXX-XXXX

—begin transmission—

(phone ring)
Claire: Hello?

Theresa: Claire! I need your help!

Claire: What’s the problem?

(phone clicking, distortion)

Theresa: Lance and I found out from a local about the president’s plan to take effect on August 2nd. We need to know if you can let us access the weapons bunker in your backyard.

Claire: I can help you with that, but why?

(phone noise)

Lance: Claire, listen to me well. You are in danger from even talking to us. Your phone might be tapped. What I need you to do is get into the bunker and see how much stuff you have. We’re going to need as much firepower as we can get, and you would be helping us greatly if you did this now!

Claire: Okay, but please give me some details while I get the key and get out there!

Lance: The President about an hour ago gave a live broadcasted speech on his plan to begin cleansing our country of any immoral citizens who are not of christian faith, are homosexual or transgender, and oppose of the president’s decision to make this place “safer” from sin. You should realize by now that this guy is psychotic and hellbent on dominating a country that used to have it’s freedom.

Claire: Jesus fucking Christ! You have got to be shittin’ me!

(phone noise)

Theresa: Claire, did you look in the bunker yet?

Claire: I’m in here looking. I see a Colt Anaconda .44, a few MC-51’s, AA12’s, a couple of Barrett M107’s, a modified Tango 51, you have about 5 M950’s, a dozen Beretta 92’s, a few gas tanks that look full… you got quite a lot of stuff to work with here, though I don’t know how much you’re going to want or need.

Theresa: We’re going to need all of it. We want you to join us.

Claire: What?! No!

Theresa: Trust me, Claire, you aren’t safe. Please help us, meet us at the Copper Queen Casino in Ely, NV around 6pm July 10th. We’ll be there, and we want to go over the details with you. If anything goes wrong, our pager number is 323-XXX-XXXX. If anything goes wrong with us, we’ll send a message. Remember to code it as “Abort” so we know.

Claire: What do I need to bring?

Theresa: The key. We have to go, the line has been tapped. Acquire another method of contact by any means necessary and get back to me. These phone numbers aren’t safe any longer.

Claire: Are you su—

(phone hang-up, click)

—end transmission—