deeper reasons exist for you

March 1, 2011 by Prototype_Leo1983.

there is a long bridge of time since i last even wrote anything here or even visited.  it’s given me time to figure myself out more and where my role in all of “this” plays it’s part.  the ironic thing is, it plays no part in the gay culture, not even portland gay culture, anymore.  no, i’m not “switching sides” because anyone is easily able to commit themselves to the insatiable sweets of nature.  which ironically, includes the dirty deed of sex.  you may be all “eww, gross” and might have found ways to by-pass reproduction at it’s core essential for the species’ survival, but the true fact is, you love being with a member of the same sex because you’re getting something more than you would with a member of the opposite gender.  that is not to say it’s an ultimate disrespect intended for either gender, no matter who you are.

the thing i found with myself lately, and it’ll ring true until my death. i favor myself over the games of other people of my gender in an intimate concept. there are many people who try too hard, people who lead you on, people who don’t even entirely listen (it shows later on, trust me)… their intentions should be made clear in the beginning. any “maybe” on the table, treat it like it doesn’t exist. “maybe” date? no… “maybe” entertain the idea of a civil union? yeah… when i see a ring, i’ll believe it.

There’s a whole world out there for everybody to enjoy, and there’s plenty of hot bitches to fuck, right? Well, don’t settle on your superficial standards, as high as they might really be. set your bar down a little lower, and you’ll notice your “options” increase a lot more and there will be people who you can meet eye to eye on anything with, and you aren’t shoving them out the door the next morning like “thanks, by the way, i gave you an STD” or something less evil-sounding.

I had the opportunity over the last couple of years to realize my levels of tolerance, what types of people press my buttons a lot. Everything. All I can tell you now is, after a couple of years growing up even more, is if you buy into “gay culture” rather than “male bonding” your options are the same as anywhere else, but, you become “guilty by association” in such a way… that if a round is fired from a handgun say 200 miles away, and someone points the finger, it could come back on you. I could set many an example of things to this.

I will only say it once though and here. Androphilia. There is a truth that rings to it. Don’t let it be the definition of an age-range… let it be the definition of you and your masculinity and your search for the true masculinity found in that Y-chromosome we are assigned. If this at least sounds reasonable to you and “the real you, that you never got to know”

I am not here to personally attack people for their choice. I am offering a glimpse to people who have been looking for themselves, have lost themselves, and want to find themselves. This is not a messiah communication. I march to the beat of my own drum now… and correctly. What i’ve offered… is me. Now you know.

oh… and yes, I’m back in some way shape or form again. in weird doses.

Posted in Uncategorized | Print | 1 Comment »