March 1, 2011 by Prototype_Leo1983.

there is a long bridge of time since i last even wrote anything here or even visited.  it’s given me time to figure myself out more and where my role in all of “this” plays it’s part.  the ironic thing is, it plays no part in the gay culture, not even portland gay culture, anymore.  no, i’m not “switching sides” because anyone is easily able to commit themselves to the insatiable sweets of nature.  which ironically, includes the dirty deed of sex.  you may be all “eww, gross” and might have found ways to by-pass reproduction at it’s core essential for the species’ survival, but the true fact is, you love being with a member of the same sex because you’re getting something more than you would with a member of the opposite gender.  that is not to say it’s an ultimate disrespect intended for either gender, no matter who you are.

the thing i found with myself lately, and it’ll ring true until my death. i favor myself over the games of other people of my gender in an intimate concept. there are many people who try too hard, people who lead you on, people who don’t even entirely listen (it shows later on, trust me)… their intentions should be made clear in the beginning. any “maybe” on the table, treat it like it doesn’t exist. “maybe” date? no… “maybe” entertain the idea of a civil union? yeah… when i see a ring, i’ll believe it.

There’s a whole world out there for everybody to enjoy, and there’s plenty of hot bitches to fuck, right? Well, don’t settle on your superficial standards, as high as they might really be. set your bar down a little lower, and you’ll notice your “options” increase a lot more and there will be people who you can meet eye to eye on anything with, and you aren’t shoving them out the door the next morning like “thanks, by the way, i gave you an STD” or something less evil-sounding.

I had the opportunity over the last couple of years to realize my levels of tolerance, what types of people press my buttons a lot. Everything. All I can tell you now is, after a couple of years growing up even more, is if you buy into “gay culture” rather than “male bonding” your options are the same as anywhere else, but, you become “guilty by association” in such a way… that if a round is fired from a handgun say 200 miles away, and someone points the finger, it could come back on you. I could set many an example of things to this.

I will only say it once though and here. Androphilia. There is a truth that rings to it. Don’t let it be the definition of an age-range… let it be the definition of you and your masculinity and your search for the true masculinity found in that Y-chromosome we are assigned. If this at least sounds reasonable to you and “the real you, that you never got to know”

I am not here to personally attack people for their choice. I am offering a glimpse to people who have been looking for themselves, have lost themselves, and want to find themselves. This is not a messiah communication. I march to the beat of my own drum now… and correctly. What i’ve offered… is me. Now you know.

oh… and yes, I’m back in some way shape or form again. in weird doses.

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September 24, 2009 by Prototype_Leo1983.

followers die, corporate lies, in a disguise, patriot eyes, see your demise, winning the prize, with blackened skies you say your goodbyes

take over the world through deception
you take the throne
taking a life, take it with strife
you feel the empty since inception
the exception
you are my slave, die in my grave

followers die, corporate lies, in a disguise, patriot eyes, see your demise, winning the prize, with blackened skies you say your goodbyes

feed the public fear, epidemic
consume it all
figure you will swallow the pill
watch through the t.v., visionary
you pray and hope
this is the end, you can’t pretend

and when the fire is extinguised by apocalypse
you will raise your handand you will murder them one by one
kill them all

quick with your actions, your consequence
destroy it all
never too late, blood on the slate
they got their rocks off, poisoned your brain
this is the truth
saying it twice isn’t precise

followers die, corporate lies, in a disguise, patriot eyes, see your demise, winning the prize, with blackened skies you say your goodbyes
followers die, corporate lies, in a disguise, patriot eyes, see your demise, winning the prize, with blackened skies you say your goodbyes

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September 18, 2009 by Prototype_Leo1983.

after an extremely lengthy absence, i’m around a bit more again.  imagine that when i left quite awhile ago, i’d go on various journeys in terms of age and discovery, and now, it’s kind of like the puzzle is put together without force, and knowing limitations.  at least, life gave a bit of time in every aspect, including now returning to the mIRC front to find alternative means to whatever it may be.  doesn’t it feel like there is a touch of a twilight coming into the play?  which act is this?  all i know is, i’m around again.  and for quite awhile again too.  let us all pay attention.

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February 10, 2008 by Prototype_Leo1983.

http://www.arcaneaddiction.com/purchase

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October 20, 2007 by Prototype_Leo1983.

the mystery is unfolding.  the silence i’ve spent for a long time has paid off in many things.

i will be showing up in the chat room at some point in the next couple of months.  until then, i’ve got a CD to finish and i’m only 2 months away from possible completion, no less, 2 songs away from full completion.

just biding the time.

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June 29, 2007 by Prototype_Leo1983.

Recently, I’ve noticed that online communities such as gay.com in example, are an online organization allowing users to freely access their services or pay for services for extra features.

I am all for that, as it is a company or a branch of a parent company whose sole purpose is to offer services, and can offer them at a nominal fee, based on the consumer market and the demand for the services.

However, I am against the censorship of freedom of speech on this particular website, and I am sure that there are many others out on the gay internet world who are probably seeing the same results as I have seen
recently, as of June 28th, 2007.

I recently attended a local Death Metal concert, because I was given a free ticket by a band that I know personally and may be performing keyboards with. As to make the occasion greater of an experience for myself, I decided to put together 4 simple ingredients to make prosthetic/fake blood. It is very simple.

Corn syrup, red food coloring, a little bit of blue food coloring, and peppermint extract (to keep it from tasting like fecal excrement). I applied it liberally enough to make it look realistic, as if I had just been bludgeoned to death by a lynch mob or something to that extent. It almost got me denied 3 times on public transit, which I found funny.

However, I took a couple of photos to put on an online profile, because I like to freely express myself in various ways without the intent of hording all of the attention of the internet. I begin to upload them to gay.com, and low and behold, within less than 15 minutes, the photo I decided to upload had been deleted from their server! I try it again after I take notice, and again within 15-20 minutes, it is deleted again. I’m marking the photo as my default photo, and am marking it as non-adult, considering I wouldn’t dream of putting my nude ass up on the internet nor pose in something sexually suggestive with less clothing on. Call me prude, but I don’t like being hit on by every homo because I’m “hot”. You tell me all the time, please stop telling
me this, I hate the fact you try to inflate my Leo ego and get between my legs, even though you don’t realize that I am not online looking for sex. I’m online looking to make friends and possible special connections that don’t immediately involve sexual advances.

After a while, my photo stays on a bit longer. I believe they have stopped monitoring the image or that the viewers of the image have stopped reporting it as suggestive or adult. I go to sleep believing the war of the photography issue is over.

I wake up the very next day (the same day I’m also writing this document) and take notice that my photo has been deleted yet again!

I continue the war of uploading a photo that I find in no possible way subliminally advertising violence or harm to another person, no less,
you can clearly see my face under a bunch of colored corn syrup. At some point, I get a message from a friend of mine tipping me off that the
photo had been marked as adult. Am I sitting there naked in the photo looking like I’m showcasing my penis to the world, or even remotely look
like I’m masturbating or having some sort of sexual activity going on around my crotch? Am I in a suggestive pose that could incite more gay men
going out and having unprotected sex? NO!!!

I’m clearly stating something I personally believe in an artistic basis, and yet, I’m being censored with my art in the gay community!

Is it that every gay man believes homosexuality should be flower gardens and a real rainbow shooting out from their underwear?

This document I write now at this very moment, is taking a very violent true-to-the-heart stab at those that which call themselves “The Gay Community” and for exactly what they are believing in.

Don’t get me wrong now, I’m a young gay adult myself, and in about a year will no longer be “young”, but while I am still young, I still believe that
the possibility of using my voice in any context such as speaking or writing online can have as much a potential impact as a gay couple at gay pride suggestively advertising looking for a group orgy by the way they dress.

Does a simple photo of mine suggest wearing ass-less chaps to a celebratory event and possibly committing lewd misconduct in front of children, when most are told that gay pride is a family-oriented parade and event? Excuse me for barking up the right tree right now, but if I were a father of an 8 year old son or daughter, I sure as hell would not take them to an outdoor event where half-naked lesbians are flashing their boob meat to the public, and virtually naked leather daddies are bulging hard in their ass-less chaps and g-string or thong, suggesting that the male hard-on is a natural thing for children to be exposed to. That is borderlining a sexual offense to me. And yet, a website that offers services to chat online or use online personals doesn’t allow someone to be artistic with themselves and advertise themselves in a way they want to? Is the gay community full of hypocrisy?

I think it’s full of the very thing that many of us who don’t attach ourselves to such a community are fighting for that we desperately need. Freedom of speech!

During the years that President Bush has been in office, we’ve been facing one of many of the “worst times” in American culture ever. We can’t speak freely or otherwise we are jailed for a ridiculously named crime. Soon, speaking obscenities in public on our own accord will have us jailed for at least a week because it’s vulgar to express your personal opinions in public. I’ve been a supporter of freedom of speech because you’re not supposed to censor somebody for their beliefs. Isn’t what this country was founded upon? Religion and politics have dirtied the very core that we once were, and the gay community to me seems to be taking a similar direction in near-similar aspects.

If we are not allowed to freely express ourselves, how in the hell can we show others how unique we are as individuals?

As of this very moment that I end this submission, I am still fighting to have my photo exposed to everyone, in a manner that does not suggest violence or pornography.

My closing words are these:

The more you let someone take away the power you have alone, the less you are listened to. The more you allow someone to censor you, the more boring you will appear to others. The less action you take against the higher power, the more they succeed. The more you speak out, the more things change.

However, one person alone can accomplish a lot or change a lot, depending on how driven and determined they are. But the more powerful statements are made when more than one person speaks out about them, or tries to discuss it with someone else and make it an issue that needs to be addressed.

In the 6 years of being out, I can admit to the same things many young gay men have done. But I will not admit to the fact that I am proud to be gay. The truth is, is that everyone is so centered on making “gay” look like something peaceful, decorated with the rainbow and designer clothing, when in fact, there is a much larger world out there full of many different and unique individuals whom develop their own background and personality. And some of those gay men prefer to be outside of that box that we call “Gay Pride”
because we all agree to one thing. There is no political backbone to change anything. It’s just a celebration of having limited amounts of gay
rights, and looking for quick hook-ups, which possibly condones the spreading of STDs.

So I ask, what is so harmful or taboo about looking like you’re covered in blood? Just to make a simple statement loud and clear?

If anything, you never know. It could be you, covered in real blood, because of a hate crime such as gay bashing. Am I promoting gay bashing?
No. I wish to promote the freedom of speech and expression, and I want others to take notice to the very exact things that we as gay men individually
are being raped of.

Maybe the next thing will involve you, your nude photos online, or even the language or way you say something will be censored because it’s law.

I suggest if you want more rights, you really need to do something that doesn’t involve proving anything, and has a strong message behind it. Most of the general public are afraid of the truth because it hurts. Give them the truth, and let it feel like an amputation without any painkillers!

If you believe in something strongly, I suggest you take action now because soon it will be too late, and your words will mean nothing, and I’m prepared
to continue doing what I love to do and what I want to do, because I was born in a free country, I should have every damn right to do something extreme
and truthful to myself without being censored.

This document is written solely to encourage those who feel voiceless to begin speaking out, despite their influential power in life. It is time to make things right and equal for everyone, because at this point in time, I’m getting the sense there is a high level of inequality, a high level of singling people out because of their personal beliefs, and no one knows what the future holds for us all exactly, but we can stop being apathetic and change the way things are and will be in the near future, given someone has the strength and courage to stand up for what they believe in, and aggressively assert themselves and their message, to ensure that someone will take notice and actually sit back and think about it, rather than be severely opinionated and judgmental about those beliefs. True freedom shouldn’t come with a price
tag at all, so why are we still having to buy it?

edit: here’s the photo (as a question/request in one of the comments)

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June 15, 2007 by Prototype_Leo1983.

an unsolved mystery of the future appears in the past
the public awareness must be brought to full attention
one single religion plans to ultimately dominate the world
the strongest power in the world prepares to flex it’s might
in the present time, apathy prevails and doom is imminent
the war against the apocalypse has just begun
the rebellion stood with their fists against the militia with guns
in the heat of the battle, everyone turns to their inner reflection
a prophet arises from the shadows and predicts the end of days
in a freak accident, the government begins to lose control of it’s power
too late, the people watch the last seconds of their lives unfold and pass
you are being shown a reality that won’t exist if you do something now

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April 5, 2007 by Prototype_Leo1983.

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March 31, 2007 by Prototype_Leo1983.

Report generated and submitted August 5th, 2010

Marcus A. Thompson, D.O.B. July 28th, 1962 6:01AM Pocatello, ID
Current Location: Key Largo, FL
1-305-XXX-XXXX
-[email omitted for security purposes]
–Security Clearance: Alpha 1, Omega 3, (FISC) Federal Institution of Security and Conscience
—Badge ID: A14-LB6T4X

—begintransmission—

I was requested by my supervisor, Richard T. Davis, to provide a detailed report on the findings of numerous rebellion gangs across the United States forming or having formed and grown in massive proportions. We have been trying to find members of our own agency to pose as a regular civilian and enter these groups’ factions piece by piece and dissemble each one and bring all individuals involved to a pre-designated city in which we would arrest them and put them on trial the same day, or execute them, pending the threat they pose to our nation.

However, I cannot detail this report as expected. In my report, I must admit, I am baffled by how quickly these groups have grown in size and how swift they move. I’ve heard reports that they’ve recruited en masse in larger cities and ship their new recruits across the borders to Mexico or Canada, or to another city where any group activity would be unexpected to occur. We attempted a month ago to arrest 3 individuals at a casino in Nevada, but to our surprise, they showed up and brought their own security, in case anything went wrong. As soon as we were ready to move in, someone spotted us and alerted them. In turn, we tried to storm the casino as fast as possible, but upon entering, our agency had immediately reported the deaths of 10 of our agents. We were ambushed! The individuals had escaped through the rear doors of the casino, and were covered from numerous angles. The getaway car was identified about a week later in a parking lot outside a convenience store in Lenexa, KS.

We are apparently dealing with a group that does mean to carry out the very business it was instructed to. Any agent of any agency involved in the protection of the President and of national security is a target now. It will only be a matter of time before the commander of these groups were given information on every agent in every agency, and will distribute copies of each of their family’s individual information. Wives, children, phone numbers, home and business addresses.

I propose that we work on extra security to the government infrastructure to prevent such an event from occuring. We need to continue with the President’s proposed plan, and we do not need any more disastrous situations to occur. It is unfortunate that we are butting heads with a force almost as equal as ours, but if we are to overcome this, we all need to work together in finding the loopholes in our agencies as well as our plans and goals. We need succession in order to carry out what we are ordered to do. Until then, we’re under orders to continue forth.

Any civilian exhibiting abhorrent behavioral patterns that does not constitute a disorder must be arrested and taken in for questioning. We are going to urge all major companies across the nation, including Alaska and Hawaii, to monitor their employee’s behavioral patterns, and submit them for neurological examinations. We do not want to disturb the peace, but this is one way I think we may be able to combat the enemy more head on and with much more force.

I hope you consider this report in your file on this case, as we’ve suffered massive losses, and soon we’ll have to amount to desperate measures which will in turn cause more, not only for us, but for our common law civilian working a hard job and going to church mass. My contact information is provided in a separate document I also have sent with this one. This is to ensure you will notice them in your inbox.

It is apparent that this is the dawn of a national war, and we need to take the right measures to ensure the safety of our own and of God.

Signed,
-Marcus A. Thompson
–08/05/2010

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March 25, 2007 by Prototype_Leo1983.

Wiretap initiated July 3, 2010 4:16pm, Chicago, Ill.
Homeland Logistics, Inc., Wiretap Division

-Subject 1: Claire J. Samson, D.O.B. November 16, 1976 11:04 AM Ceres, CA
–Subject Current Location: Las Cruces, NM
—Subject Phone Number: 1-505-XXX-XXXX

-Subject 2: Theresa B. Porter, D.O.B. January 13, 1981 07:12 PM Rapid City, SD
-Subject 3: Lance X. Porter, D.O.B. April 30, 1975 02:22 PM Aberdeenshire, Scotland
–Subject Current Location: Twentynine Palms, CA
—Subject Phone Number: 1-760-XXX-XXXX

—begin transmission—

(phone ring)
Claire: Hello?

Theresa: Claire! I need your help!

Claire: What’s the problem?

(phone clicking, distortion)

Theresa: Lance and I found out from a local about the president’s plan to take effect on August 2nd. We need to know if you can let us access the weapons bunker in your backyard.

Claire: I can help you with that, but why?

(phone noise)

Lance: Claire, listen to me well. You are in danger from even talking to us. Your phone might be tapped. What I need you to do is get into the bunker and see how much stuff you have. We’re going to need as much firepower as we can get, and you would be helping us greatly if you did this now!

Claire: Okay, but please give me some details while I get the key and get out there!

Lance: The President about an hour ago gave a live broadcasted speech on his plan to begin cleansing our country of any immoral citizens who are not of christian faith, are homosexual or transgender, and oppose of the president’s decision to make this place “safer” from sin. You should realize by now that this guy is psychotic and hellbent on dominating a country that used to have it’s freedom.

Claire: Jesus fucking Christ! You have got to be shittin’ me!

(phone noise)

Theresa: Claire, did you look in the bunker yet?

Claire: I’m in here looking. I see a Colt Anaconda .44, a few MC-51’s, AA12’s, a couple of Barrett M107’s, a modified Tango 51, you have about 5 M950’s, a dozen Beretta 92’s, a few gas tanks that look full… you got quite a lot of stuff to work with here, though I don’t know how much you’re going to want or need.

Theresa: We’re going to need all of it. We want you to join us.

Claire: What?! No!

Theresa: Trust me, Claire, you aren’t safe. Please help us, meet us at the Copper Queen Casino in Ely, NV around 6pm July 10th. We’ll be there, and we want to go over the details with you. If anything goes wrong, our pager number is 323-XXX-XXXX. If anything goes wrong with us, we’ll send a message. Remember to code it as “Abort” so we know.

Claire: What do I need to bring?

Theresa: The key. We have to go, the line has been tapped. Acquire another method of contact by any means necessary and get back to me. These phone numbers aren’t safe any longer.

Claire: Are you su—

(phone hang-up, click)

—end transmission—

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